Thursday, January 17, 2013

I wish criminals were smarter...

1/18/2013 - Friday.(2:21am)

~It would probably be stupid of me to say this, but i just don`t think there`s enough smart badness in this world. If there was, our police won`t be deciphered in cartoons all fat like and eating doughnuts most of the time. When I watch shows like Sherlock or Monk where genius detectives are involved, there`s always a cool crime waiting to be solved. 

~In reality, everyday I read my newspapers to find some politician having dirt dug up on him, or suicide cases. The most common trending cases now a days are rape cases. Everyday there`s a rape case without fail. Seriously? Intelligent bad dudes, where the heck are you guys hiding?? These `tarded criminals are soiling your reputations!

~There have been cases of robberies where criminals rob stores without wearing masks =.= There`s also epic cases with robbers robbing the same store they work in during their break. Best part is that they wear their uniform, with their name tag and all still on it, while attempting the robbery. Gosh, what did I just research?

~And truth be told, many crime cases go unsolved. What ARE the police doing anyway? We need more private detectives ._. You know, the ones who always have some disguise up their sleeves. Just add a mustache, it does the trick. Who knows, if police stay this way, maybe i`ll rob a bank someday?(Anyone wanna join me? Jk, jk) Reminds me of Flypaper, where the two groups decide to rob the same bank on the same day. What are the odds?


Lets become thieves!
Who wear masks and mustaches
We`ll roam the nights in leather tights
Darkness be our cover
Shadows be our eyes

Should we learn how to climb rooftops first?
Probably so, lets take lessons in acrobats.
You`ll do all the swinging, I`ll do the thinking.
Then let me in.
I`ll be waiting.

So many victims, such little time.
Who shall we rob first, that house along street nine?
There`s a widower there, with her Coo-Koo cats.
Careful of her cookies.
They say they`re made of bats!

We`ll set sleeping gas inside her house.
What? No, no murder. There`s cats as her witness!
Do I believe in hell, you ask?
Of course!
Else where would I end up in once i`m gone?

Oi! Careful! Don`t break the lady`s vase.
She may be drugged, don`t mean her neighbours are!
Hush! I know we live next to her!
Just. Keep a low profile, please!

Yes, i`m stealing her chicken, got a problem?
I`m hungry. Can`t rob a house on an empty tummy...

I`ve gotten all the jewelry
Have you gotten all the money? Good.
What about the pearl necklace
That fat cat has around its neck?
No? Fine then we`ll leave it.

Shit! What the heck was that?
Oh, just that sleeping dreaming cat.
Gosh it`s a feline land mine in here!
I wonder how many she has now.
98 you say? You counted?
Should we leave her note to thank her?
Oh, great! You`ve thought of it before I did!

Now off we go, before some cat decides to get up.
The demons pets, them are, hurry!

And off we go with our booty
Lets do this again sometime, shall we?


~These horrible post-midnight posts should teach me not to write past midnight.... I never learn, do I? I type while i`m sleeping. It`s like sleepwalking, only it`s called sleeptyping. It`s a thing. It exists. Fine, toodles!!

~"Nature was in her beryl apron, mixing fresher air." -Emily Dickinson.


  1. So, this will sound weird, but I agree with you. Criminals are so dense, which I guess is good news for us, but still. Even if they use half their brains they could come up with something interesting. TV criminals have their moments of brilliance, real life ones...not so much. (Again, likely good news for all of us.)

    Being awkward isn't so bad when one remembers just how many awkward people there are about. We can all be awkward together.

    Oh yes, dragons are so very magical. I'd own one if I could find one. They keep eluding me.

    And I had a wonderful time watching Howl!!! LOVED it! I hope to watch it again Saturday.

    Sherlock is a great show! I am not crazy about episode one of series two, but I love the others!

    1. ~Yes, yes! They should have a `How to be a criminal for Dummies`. Or they probably already do... idk >_<

      ~Yes! Socially awkward penguins unite!!

      ~Lock Ness. Or Ireland. Try those spots.

      ~Ahhh!! Just watched epi 1 of season 2, I thought it was good!! So much thinking done... (Then again, it`s Sherlock. There`s always thinking to be done!) But i`m still baffled as to how he got the phone of The Woman`s in the first place.... I mean, the morgue lady delivered it to him, right? But why? Was she told to do so? *sigh*


~Everyone loves comments, and so do I! Critiques are much appreciated too! I`ll drop by your blog to reply~ ^^