Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Posing as a student on her first day of college life

My journey to Earth domination. 

Assimilating young adulthood to further study and comprehend humans and their queer behaviors.

As much as an alien robot would love to say the first day of college was like being under the deserts sun for hours without water, it wasn`t. Me and my mother alien left home in our CRV Space Shuttle at 9:15am for INTI campus in Penang. I am to take Cambridge A-Levels Courses(CAL) at the aforementioned place.There my mum took out her lazer gun and threatened a few staff members and got me my timetable. My first class was Statistics. (STA1311A3 YGL LR301.) After searching the forest for a specific leaf, (and failing epicly! Humans label their buildings in such a queer manner!) we decided to interrogate students for answers. One finally squealed and leaded us to the right door that would supposedly lead me to a room where knowledge on Statistics would be imparted from teacher to her fellow followers. She broke free from our captivity once we were glad we found the right portal. Sadly, the portal was out of service. A notice saying `Moved to 502` was stuck on the portal, and so we were back on our hunt for the Statistics room.

 My alien vision spotted a cherished human acquaintance which I had grown particularly fond of entering a room from a mile away. I recalled her contacting me some time back to inform me of her joining in said college. She would be learning Maths(which included Statistics), Physics, Chemistry and Biology as her plans for the future was to travel in a steel bird to Europe to master the art of healing. As she entered, I told my mother that I had identified an ally in the crowd of humans. My mother asked `where?` only to be ignored by me as I was already running towards the room.

As silent as the door would allow me, I unclosed it and slipped into the room. There my human friend (The abbreviation of her given name is CXZ) was seated with several other humans I had once crossed paths with. The one beside her was named Pushpaa. Beside Pushpaa was a girl whose countenance was new to my memory. A few rows behind was Keshia. Upon noticing my presence, CXZ`s lips curled into a large smile as she pointed to the empty seats behind her. Getting past the masses of people to reach the seat she wanted me seated on was quite a fix. They just seemed to be everywhere, humans. *Sigh*

 Once I had parked my bottom onto the chair, she found a way to squeeze through the seats in front of me to get to my row. She joined me, sitting on the four legged plastic invention to my right. We did not even begin with the pleasantries. No. Good friends need not do so. We went straight to the juicy topics. Such that were spoken of was the shock of her seeing me here. She said she had a premonition of me arriving here soon, although she knew nothing of my mother alien registering me up in a human study center. She also told me of the Deja Vu experiences occurring quite many times to her in these two weeks at the campus.

I listened and took note that she had slimmed down very much. She had grown into a beautiful person, and I love that her personality is of the same when luck first meddled so that our paths would connect. It was many moons ago, that event. When I was a mere alien of little understanding of the human ruled world around me. I was only nine following universal age counting. And so was she. The girl sitting behind me at that time was a crazy child comedian named Jaya, and CXZ was given the honors to be her partner. I knew Jaya, for she too was of alien breed. Our parents were allies before our birth. Jaya had introduced me to CXZ, who at that time was a shy child, slightly plump, and very fun to be with.

 Jaya and her became buddies after Jaya had accidentally landed her hand on CXZ`s spectacles, bending the handle which had led to CXZ using crooked spectacles for that whole particular year. No harm done it would seem, for in that mis-happen happening, they became acquaintances, thus me becoming CXZ`s acquaintance. Oh jolly yay! As recently introduced into Earth, the three of us knew very little of the hardships of life. We spent quite an amount of time creating paper models, (such as frogs that leaped, Chinese New Year paper fish decorations, the ever popular paper boats and planes, and drawings of watches and bags which we would cut out and sell to our naive classmates for 20Sens. However, the selling stopped once we were caught by the disciplinary devil. We were forced to return the students money, and they had to give back the product which we sold to them.) trapping insects in our pencil sharpeners, playing with eraser and pencil people, drawing and running about in the field.

Statistics class was supposed to be held only for an hour, but the teacher managed to shorten it by arriving following her own watch. She thought us about graphs, upper and lower boundaries, frequencies, cumulative frequencies, etcetera. Since I had registered a week later than most of the humans around me, I had already missed lessons. Tomorrow CXZ has volunteered to go through those topics with me so that I would better understand it to aid me in my mission of Earth dominating. This particular class ended at eleven, and my peer had to leave in haste for her next class, which was Chemistry. (CHM1311A1 SS Lab.) I, on the other tentacle, was held back to give my given human alias to the teacher. 

My next lesson was supposed to be Physics (PHY1311A2 TSC Lab.) Sadly, this lecturer suspected me of being weird in the lot of humans present, and decided to kick me out. I was not a lone ranger in this. There were a few others that shared a similar fate as yours truly. Hmmm, this one has an eye for picking out aliens with awesome disguises. I thought. Alas, I was mistaken! She had simply asked us to leave, and return later for this class was too packed. Rejected and feeling dejected, I roamed the halls of INTI floor 4 alone. Then I made up my mind to sit and doodle on the single book I had in my grassy bug-bag. Feeling unmotivated, I got up and headed for the staircase. On my way down, as fate would have it, I bumped into Sherlyn (SK). We shared a few words. She was clothed in a red Dave shirt (From Homestuck.) and was heading to the lobby. 

Why not tag along? I thought to myself, and so I did. But as soon as we hit the lobby, SK, ever the socialite, was ambushed by humans. Quietly and quickly I escaped the rows of peoples to spot Pushpaa and the new girl. Pushpaa was talking to her, and they both greeted me when their eyes fell on me. Delighted, I greeted them back. The new girl (Who`s name once again escapes my memory. Lets just label her as G for now.) said she was searching for `Animals Corner Club` for today was the day clubs opened their membership to the students that filled the building. The three of us headed to the information room to ask a teacher where the club booth was. She said if it`s not there, then its not anywhere. Thus, she could not become part of that society.

G also informed us that she would be leaving at any moment for home to have her lunch. Then she would return for Chemistry lessons. At the entrance, the two black orbs fixed to my head spotted the ANIME CLUB. For some unexplainable reason, I find myself drawn to anything Anime or Manga related. The society was named Animag. With a large smile plastered on my face, I walked up to the booth to sign myself up. Pushpaa advised me to ask them about the club first, so I did. I learned that the activities held are mainly watching Anime movies, making gungdam models and learning Japanese. Later I realized that it was a major blunder on my part to sign up without asking what days the club meetings would be held. For I was to learn German on Saturdays to achieve my dream in going to Germany to study learn their ways, so on that day I could not attend. They did tell me that they would add me in Facebook, so maybe I`ll try asking them then.

After G left, me and Pushpaa headed to floor 5. There we sat in the library, where she began studying Biology and I went book hunting. The golden goose must have been with me, for when I was about to read a book on the Animal Kingdom, my roaming eyes caught sight of Social Psychology. I love psychology. I switched Animal Kingdom for Social Psychology and took my place beside Pushpaa on a table. I began reading the book with great interest. I only got to page 12 before Yen Min(YM) came walking into the library. She was my human in-format. A very updated person in areas encompassing latest gossips or hot news among people around her. She wore a pink turtle neck blouse and jeans. Her nails were painted brilliant blue. I told her they were cool, for they were. After all, blue was a cool colour.

She talked to me and Pushpaa about HSC, the course she was taking. She told us that during every English class, every student had to talk about a random word their lecturer would throw at them. A while later, Ai Leen came in with her boyfriend and sat on our table. We all greeted each other. Weirdly, YM chose that moment to get up to switch books and Pushpaa told us that she had to leave. (This was not new news to me. She was to have lunch with her human father and it was already 12:30pm.) Ai leen talked with me a little more before leaving. Finally, peace! I thought as I attempted reading Social Psychology. The moment I looked down at the book, a hand was on my shoulder, causing me to look up. Oh, Rachel, hi! That was that, then. I closed the book. No more reading. The library had become a place of talking now.

Yen Min came back, we talked, then Rachel left without me noticing. Me and YM exited the library at 12:50pm. YM had class at one, so after meeting CXZ (who was with Caryn and Rachel. Oh, Rachel, hi! Again.), she headed off to her class. Then we decided to enter a HSC class for fun. Caryn has a crush on someone there ;) CXZ wanted to find out about MUET, which lead us to visiting lecturers and rooms for further inquiry. Once done, we headed to the Lobby to have lunch. Rachel had disappeared by then. (She had that power. To simply vanish when she pleased. She was a Vision Walker, after all.) Caryn bid us farewell for her classes for the day was as over as a dead relationship. Apparently, I was the only one who had lunch. Was the whole world on a dieting fad? CXZ sat beside me studying Biology.

We went to floor 5 again after I ate because CXZ wanted notes printed. A whole stack of notes higher than Mt.Heck-Lots-Of-Trees-Murdered was what she requested from the Bookshop people. They said only tomorrow will her mountain be ready. Off to Physics then, we went. (PHY1311A1 TSC Lab.) Today I did a terrible thing by any living beings standards. I skipped class. Well, not skipped class exactly. I just missed my Chemistry class because my I decided to replace the Physics class I missed during Chemistry period. No worries, I`ll just have a little chat with the staff tomorrow to have them change my Chemistry classes to be synced with CXZ`s. 

Physics was frustrating. It was experiment day today, and all my green hair nearly turned grey. We were given the task of fixing a pendulum bob and counting the time it took for a number of oscillations. Everyone had their own set of apparatus, so no teamwork. That part was quite relaxing. I was only bugged out by the sheer number of times we had to swing the pendulum bob left and right. I presume more than 20 minutes was spent on simply observing a ball swing along its axis, not giving any fudges to the alien staring at it, wishing she was throwing its bobby sorry ass out the window of the fourth level room. Why do they call the pendulum bob a Bob anyway?

But that was not the task that made me feel like screaming the way Anime characters do; kicking innocent puppies off the sidewalk; stomping on Mary`s silver bells; stealing from Batman. No. What tormented my soul was the report. Painstakingly, I had to correction tape each and every value written for having written them in two decimal places when no decimal places were required. Once done, I get told that my table was missing a column that supposed to go in the middle of the table. Redid it, then realized that T was not actually T, but t20 in disguise. Corrected that as well. Next, the graph. Once done, I got my gradient. Then I was to find the value of `g` using the formula given.

My g was 7.46. Apparently the space in which my pendulum bob swung had only 7.46 gravity acting on it. Humans however had the normal Earth gravity of around 9.80g acting on their bob. How queer. I was not the sole one with a gravitational result defying gravity itself. CXZ had hers at 14.34g. Yes. We defy the laws of Physics in mysterious ways. Our Physics lecturer smiled at our results, telling us that it was fine and to simply hand in our reports. Heck, why not? FYI, our lecturer had similar futures to an elf. One would expect an elf to sound sweet and calm. How deceiving! Her voice had such authority it planted fear in my little alien heart. Also, college life allows one to leave lessons once they complete their assignments. We did not need to loiter in class until four when class was stated to be over. Me and CXZ left by three forty five.

 Making our way to the lobby, we once again ran into Pushpaa and G. Then, CXZ left and after that, I could feel my robot senses tingling. I turned around and guess who I saw? None other than NL. She`s a nice girl and all, but I find myself afraid of her for unfathomable reasons. She waved at me, then started a conversation. She asked me if I had joined the Anime Club, and I said yes. She was surprised, saying she was only joking. "No, there really is an Anime club", I said. "Yes, but I didn`t expect you to actually join it", she replied. "I did. Did you?" I asked. "In three clubs already, too much on my plate." was the reply. Ok. Then she turned to walk away, but decided against it. Asked me if I would like to buy an INTI shirt for charity of sorts. I would have liked to, truly. But I had to ask my mother alien`s permission before purchasing human clothing. She nodded in understanding and left. Phew, that went well.

Pushpaa, G, and I decided to wait at the entrance instead of the lobby. There, we met Ai Leen again. G was slightly disappointed that she could not fulfill her wanting in enrolling in a club related to animals. Then her frown turned upside down as she began a topic about her pet cats and how she loved them so very very much. Then she left for home. I felt like the awkward third party after that; with Ai and Pushpaa talking and me standing there smiling. At approximately four ten, my mother alien came to my rescue. Oh, how glad I am to be back home, the four walls around me. Solitude. Nothing can beat its magic. 

Date of event : 14/1/2013 on a Monday.
Lessons Learned : 
  • College life is difficult. 
  • Rooms are labeled to confuse the fudge out of you if you are a first timer.
  • Teachers change your timetable without contemplating the consequences it has on you. They may kick you out if they suspect you of being an alien, or when they feel like it. 
  • Do not wear slippers or shorts during Lab periods. Keep green hair tied.
  • If late for class, always blame traffic.
  • Colours of human hair vary further along the visible colour spectrum at college.
  • Library is a social area. If you plan on getting any reading done, head to the canteen, or preferably home.
  • Humans play Minecraft there. Humans play Minecraft anywhere. As long as there is a stable internet connection.
  • Half of the people you knew back at school had amnesia over the holidays. You may recognize and greet them, but suddenly they don`t know you.
  • Lecturers like talking about their personal life. If lucky, you will learn about their children, their vehicle, their burglar, their mechanic, and even their pet dog who has kidney cancer.


  1. I will be more cautious during my college classes. Cool POV though xD

    1. ~So my life is a POV now,eh?.... Interesting....
      Yes, do be aware of your surroundings. But you should be fine, considering the chances of you bumping into an old acquaintance is around 2%
      Good lick though, and may the Sugar Savior be with you.

  2. You almost make me wish I was attending this thing called College. It must be a fascinating place to study the human race. In their natural habitat.

    All of those things you must study, especially the one called Math, doesn't it make your head hurt? (Math and I have been long standing enemies and that is unlikely to change for many years.)

    At least you have an alley though!

    Also, thank you for the comment - and I shall say, you should watch Sherlock and Merlin 8-D Great shows!

    1. ~Yes, it is fascinating, but dangerous as well. At college, many of the specimen decide on trying out smoking and drugs. I must navigate through the many human matters in caution. I`m glad my ally has a sane mind. =)

      Maths is a subject I find fairly fascinating, and somewhat dull at the same time. It depends on the teacher, I guess.

      And thank you for the comment too ^^ I am planning to watch Sherlock very soon. I`ve just downloaded season one onto my laptop!


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